elpatron56:

sketiana:

not to channel george orwell on main but nows the time to start keeping hammers next to every electrical device u own lol

last thing the device sees before I hammer it to death

mtsainthelens:

yeezus-fish:

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool

favecolor:

ponzu:

favecolor:

whats this guy doin

what guy

THIS guy

reallyreallyreallytrying:

medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later

arguablysomaya:

powerburial:

knowyournewmeme:

this is the guy who invented war

brothers

justalexinhere:

queenannebonniesrevenge:

marisatomay:

gays are bad at math because instead of spreading it evenly so all gays are moderately competent at math the talent is heavily concentrated into a chosen few but it takes a long time to recharge The Math Gay Battery which is why Isaac Newton and Jon Lovett were born 300 years apart

Alan Turing cost us 100 years of math skills

Mom says its my turn to use the math

antichrister:

*sees slugs on the sidewalk after it rained*

me:

repent-zoomer:

detectivehole:

detectivehole:

you can unfollow me but you can’t un-read my posts so really i’m the winner here

our paths may have crossed briefly but you still had the misfortune of knowing me